What would happen if you were driving down the road in your luxury SUV, totally hammered, watching porn, and uh....touching yourself in your special area? Well, you'd crash into another SUV, of course! With lots of witnesses! Then try to buy them all off!!
And, when the police show up, not get tested for alcohol or drugs, NOT get a DWI, not get charged for drunk driving - but hey, you get a free ride home by the police (sweet deal! You live in another town!!).
Sounds pretty outrageous? Well - it happened to the disturbed Eddie Griffin, basketball player for the minnesota timberwolves. Watch the news report here.